My 10 most mythical guitars

In this post I will be writing about the 10 guitars I have the most desire to own and have had a crush on for the longest. These guitars are not necessarily some you can bye and some of them are specific to a certain player and in that way carries a lot of passion and love for me.

10 Ibanez Jem 25 Anniversary/JS 1200. I think that every guitar player that knows just the slightest about shredding has dreamed about owning a JEM. The JEM I like best was the one they did on the 25th anniversary for the guitar model and it was made out of see through plastic and had glow in the dark paint colored in and a light that would turn on via one of the pods and it would glow in that green  and killer color. The JEM is a shredders wet dream and is a great guitar and I would love to own one some day but  the Ibanez JS-1200 series is (I think) better suited to me and what I want to do. Recently I have dived into the world of Joe Satriani and it has been amazing. I like Steve Vai and all, and I think he is more varied in his play but some of the songs and melodies Joe Satriani has created are fantastic. And I think the relatively simple style of the JS and its versatility is more to my liking then what the JEM does.

9. Gibson Les Paul Bullseye. Zakk Wylde has been a huge influence on me for as long as I can remember. And he still has. I believe that in a few months in 1991 he was the best guitar player on the planet. I say that because of how great the No More Tears album really is. every riff, solo and chorus is amazing and he wrote that shit. His sound is unique and those guitars oohhh my. I thought it looked so awesome when I was little and watch Ozzy Osbourne live at Budokan with my dad and saw the big bearded monster who was swinging it around like a Norse god. His bullseyes where beautifully made and it was my favorite guitar up until some pint in my early years. I've been a Gibson guy everyday of my life and that Les Paul Bullseye is the ultimate metal Gibson and I would still love to have one and good I would make it scream.

8. Music Man JP. I have always thought of John Petrucci as a master. He is one of the most well rounded players ever and has the songs to show it. He started of with Ibanez and made some really good guitars but his Music Man JP's are simple astonishing. His custom DiMarzio Liquifire and Crunch Lab humbuckers are amazing. I even put those into my Stirling JP50 and it made it a new instrument. Music Man guitars are odd in some ways but when you get used to them you can't let em go. They are fantastic instruments and really are unique and I think that's why Petrucci switched over. He wanted something more special and he got it. Those JP Ernie Ball Family Reserve are sometimes out of this world.

7. Washburn N4 Snakeskin. Nuno is a genius! I don't think I need to say any more. But I will anyway. The Washburn N4 is one of the only guitars Washburn make that actually is boutique. They make some decent acoustics but there electrics are mostly cheaper metal guitars. They had a stroke of genius when the N4 was made. it fitted perfectly to Nuno and though simple can play everything. And then you put snakeskin on it????? Holy fuck that looks good. The N4 is a classic now and I don't think there's anything like it out there. It's so good that you don't care that it's not a Suhr or a PRS. It's one of a kind and if your a rocker with a hunger for heavy this should be your tool. I wish it was mine!


6. Fender Stratocaster Eric Johnson. If you know me or have read some of the stuff on this block you know how much I adore Eric Johnson. The is why this guitar is on the list. There is no point for me to buy a "normal" Stratocaster but the EJ Strat is special. Eric has approved everything on it and that's why they sell so well. This guitar has gone a step further then the rest. It is made to fit the specifications of the biggest perfectionist in the art of guitar playing. This is by far the guitar on this list I am the closest to buying. And I genuinely think that my next guitar will be an EJ Strat or number 3 on this list. It would be the perfect compliment to my Les Paul Traditional.

5. Dean/Washburn Dime. Now we're starting to enter an area where I can't help but get a bit sentimental. Dime is my god! I worship the ground he walked on. I don't care if it's a Dean or a Washburn. I just fucking want one some day. The Dime and the Razorbacks that Dean now make remind me off why I started listening to Pantera and therefor how my passion for guitars started. Sometimes the Dime's are cheap and not of very high quality but some of the more expensive Deans are great. But as long as they have the Dimebuckers it really doesn't matter. Crank up the Volume and scope the mid and of you go to the epicenter of The Great Southern Trendkill. The Washburn models where never really that popular but they had some pretty finishes and should be good guitars but if I had to pick one I would get The Dean Cemetery Gates Razorback with all included. Then I would play  5 Minutes Alone on and on and on, and get a pink goatee.

4. Charvel/Jackson Soloist. There is only one super-strat. Everything els is a mock-up. The soloist is the only real super-strat, because of it's diversity. It could and can do anything. I think they look fantastic but the main reason I like them so much is because of Shawn Lane. He got Charvel to make him some semi custom Soloists. Charvel was owned by Jackson at that time in the late 80's/early 90's and those guitars have now become collectibles. Shawn did everything on it and though they were not Jackson's or made in the US, they where better then most Jackson's at the time. Jackson still make some killer Soloists and I really like the wooden look they give some of them. I would love to own one some day, cause in shape I think the Jackson Soloist is one of the pretiest takes on how a guitar should look.

3. Music Man Luke III. All hail king Steve. This is the 3rd generation of the Luke and it's only fitting that an artist like Steve Lukather gets a guitar that literally can do everything it wants to. Like they have with the JP's, Music Man have again created a masterpiece. The Luke both looks and sounds fantastic. It's versatile and has those signature Music Man details that I myself have come to love. The Olive-green finish in the picture looks fantastic and the neck should be a dream to play. The former Luke's are awesome as well but I'm a Humbucker guy so naturally this is the one I like the better. the Preamp and coil stuff on it is just a bonus. Some day I will buy a Luke.

2. Suhr Koa Reb Beach.  I Love Reb beach but i love his Koa guitars more in a way. A Koa top can change everything. The sound is fantastic and fit really well to the activ EMG's Reb Beach uses but there is one thing Koa does that other wood really can't. It simple looks perfect on a guitar in my opinion. The Koa just looks right. I really like Mahogany and all but Koa has a natural glow and blend that really floats my boat. Then you ad on the sound it provides and ads to, lets say regular mahogany, and you have something going nobody can touch. John Suhr is a genius but the Ibanez Voyager Reb Beach had first is the one I would pick if I could. But they are impossible to get a hold off. So I'll have to do with the Suhr. That's fine by me.

1. Gibson Les Paul Custom Black Beaty. John Sykes was my first guitar hero. He was THE guy for my when One Night Only came out in 2000. He blew those Thin Lizzy songs up and what was he doing it on. A black Les Paul with silver linings. That guitar is the reason why I'm a Gibson guy at core. The Les Paul has been with Sykes through all the good and bad and it's one of the best sounding guitars ever. And still to this day, it looks unbelievable. John Sykes is unique. He's fucked up some stuff in his day but he also has a style nobody els has. He resurrected Thin Lizzy and gave it so much power that you would think it was a different band playing. That guitar did all that with him and if I could have one guitar to put up on my wall to look at for inspiration, it would be Black Beauty.It wouldn't hang there for long though cause just to hold that thing and give it a go is one of my biggest dreams regarding guitars.




Get a life and start listening to better music!  

This Stuff Is Killing Me!

When The Dark Knight came out in the summer of 2008 there was a buzz about the whole thing.I remember having watched Batman Begins shortly before The Dark Knight came out and I felt that Christopher Nolan had nailed Gotham and the whole Batman Universe really well. Liam Neeson was a perfect cast as Ras Al Ghul and Christian Bale was king like always. The voice of Batman was a bit to rough and all but the setting and overall feel of the movie was great. But when I saw The Dark Knight and heard the talk afterwards I couldn't help but to feel like I knew better and that everybody was blind.

The thing that I couldn't stand hearing everybody praise , was a thing about the movies main villain. The villain was supposed to be the Joker and he was played by a very out of line Heath Ledger who finally seemed to step out of the nice guy shade.But the thing that puzzled me was: This motherfucker is not the Joker. This was some other crazy guy who had been beaten up by his dad and threw out a line like: "Why so serious?" but there is no way in hell that guy was the Joker. Heath Ledger to me was a fine actor. I didn't have anything on him. I didn't like Brokeback Mountain because I thought it was to gay and all but I think A Knight's Tale is a great movie. And Heath Ledger surely gave his all and showed a new side of his talent in The Dark  Knight but him portraying the Joker is one of the worst castings I have ever seen.

Heath Ledger played a madman with a very distinct way of handling himself. He runs around doing stuff that was really calculated and depending on a lot of things to fall in place prior to his actions. He burned a bunch of money, had a Jacket on that was wired to a bunch of grenades but mainly he had a master plan that needed Harvey Dent and Batman to do certain things. And that right there is the main problem Heath Ledger's Joker has, but I'll get to that. First off lets talk about some of the minor problems.

The Joker is not a result of some father beating his family up and cutting his sons cheeks to pieces and having no real identity. The Joker is riddled in mystery and doesn't tell anything about himself or his past. He is a result of a man falling into a pile of chemical waste after batman interacts with him. But nothing is really certain about him other then his hatred of Batman and him being a complete psychopath.

Another problem with ledgers Joker is his outfit. The Joker has green hair, red lips, white skin and wears a purple and orange suite constantly. It would have been difficult to fit into Nolan's batman but the joker look he picked was fucked. And worst of all, his face was painted! How the fuck does that happen. He runs around throwing cheesy lines at people and try to go one on one with The Batman and then he wears facial paint. That is wack as fuck and shouldn't be the way you show the main villain. That makes him way to human. The Joker has to be the odd man out for him to work properly. He has to be the only guy like him and not just another white guy who got porked by his dad.

On another note Harvey Dent's face gets hit by acid not burned. How can he live without one of his eyelashes? He ends up getting acid on his face by accident and batman is kinda to blame but he doesn't end up being some sour, burned out waste of time that shoots up the entire town. He is a sneaky guy who knows how to handle himself and be the head of an operation. Though he might have to personalities inside his head but he's no half brain. The Jokers interaction with Two-Face in the hospital is stupid and has nothing to do with how Harvey ends up raising hell and being one of batman's sworn enemies.

The biggest problem Ledger's Joker has is that the Joker is a psychopath. He thinks out a plan to get batman killed or rob a bank and that's it. He might hatch a plan that evolves on more then one level but he always has one main goal and then he just goes with it. It might be a clever plan and all but it's a short term plan. Nolan has the Joker develop a master plan that takes huge preparations. There's the cellphone bomb, The part where he puts the blame on Batman at the parade, The whole Harvey Dent thing, The gangster set up with the grenade jacket and so on. This is on a scale that Lex Luthor or Dr. Doom would find fitting but the Joker as insane. He lives in the moment and does so by blowing stuff up and cracking jokes. Harley Quinn follows him around and adores him, but she is just as crazy as he is so they're a cute couple. The Joker doesn't blast Batman's batmobile with rounds and rounds on an open street. He intoxicates the entire Police department with a gas that makes them all smile and laugh until they cramp, and he does this so that he can steal a van filled with gold and while he does it he has a big smiley faced bomb timed to blow up in 30 seconds and only Batman can stop it.

That's the Joker and that Joker is Mark Hamill. Hamill was the voice of The Joker in: Batman: The Animated Series which I was a huge fan off in the 90's. Kevin Conroy is always a kick ass batman and all but Hamill gave the Joker the life he had when he was in the comics. He talked and laughed like the Joker did when you where reading his lines in the comics. His voice complimented his insanity and nobodies ever come close to him. He was The Joker in the video game Batman: Arkham City and my god was he just as good as I remembered. His dialog with batman when he reveals his plan is magical and in the extras you can see Mark Hamill transform himself into the Joker when he does his lines. It is magical to watch. His lines have always been well written and his delivery is so spectacular and unique that he in some way has made sure nobody can really be The Joker other then him. That is why I think Nolan should have picked another villain for Ledger to mess around with. Maybe The Red Hood or Hush but the best thing would have been to make him The Riddler since he is a guy that really hatches big plans and all. But all that in mind the Payday style bank robbery was awesome, but under bozo's mask was hiding something that only a true fan could see and that thing wasn't The Joker. It was good but no Joker.

Get a life and start listening to better music!    

I Just Can't Leave It Alone.

This post is gonna be a bit different than the others. Because this time I'm gonna talk about one of my favorite sports: Cycling. The reason is that this years Giro d'Italia is coming to an end with the right winner but surrounded by riders, teams and episodes that are all impossible.


First off I can't explain why I like cycling so much. Cycling is something everybody can and do at some point in their lives. But there is something about seeing men race across mountains with up to a 25% climb and in sprints with 60 plus kilometers an hour that is so fascinating. As long as I can remember I have spent my entire July watching the Tour de France with my dad and one of the earliest memories I have of anything is watching Bjarne Riis win the 1996 Tour de France. I can remember how a danish singer/songwriter named Anne-Dorte Michelsen sang a song about him and Denmark was in a state of euphoria. And from that moment on I have been hooked on cycling. It's a sport I don't follow all year but during the grand Tours and some of the Classics it's more important than anything to me. There has been one rule I have followed almost my entire life as a cycling fan: What Bjarne does and says goes. Bjarne Riis is to me one of the greatest sports names to ever come from Denmark. he did something nobody had ever done before and he beat the machine; Miguel Indurain. He later admitted he had used doping and that leads us to the next part.


To me Doping in cycling is not important. I don't care if they us it or not. The reason why is that it takes so much talent and skill to ride that fast, Hard and skilled for so long that I just want to see some good action. But it should be equal to all. They should use the same drugs and at the same levels. So when Bjarne admitted he had used doping during the 90's I didn't give a fuck. he was still the best of the bunch that year, and that was a year where everybody was doped out of their minds.

I have always had favorites in the peloton. The first rider i really adored was the Australian sprinter Robbie McEwen. He was an artist on a bike and was a fierce rider who did't back down from anyone. He was very charismatic and won the green jersey in the Tour de France 3 times in the early 00's. Then came along the greatest bike rider of all time: Fabian Cancellara. When i spotted him on the Italian team Fassa Bortolo in 2004 I saw something special and the something turned out to be the most complete rider I have ever seen. He was the best Time Trialist ever. You can throw them all out and say Tony Martin a or David Miller, but when Fabian was best there wasn't anybody any better. His triumph at the world championships in 2009 was insane. He steamrolled everybody and when he destroyed all the other favorites in the 2010 Tour of Flanders and Paris-Roubaix was out of this world. Later on I have gotten a more broad view of the riders and have gotten a lot of love for the old man Alessandro Petacchi and his sprint train on Fassa Bortolo. I have never seen anything like it ever since. He was unbeatable in 2003 and 2004. But through the years the riders on Bjarne Riis' team has had a star in my book. But in 2011 when he signed Alberto Contador it was really special.

Contador is the biggest Grand Tour talent to ever walk this earth. He can do it all. has the power, the technique, can ride downhill, has some brutal accelerations up hill and has the toughest mental mind I have ever seen. He is the only man to beat Lance Armstrong at his own game. You could see it in him when he was a young guy riding for Liberty Seguros that he had something in him nobody els had.And then came the 2007 Tour de France. This is hands down the best cycling race ever. Fabian destroyed everybody in the streets of London and won another stage later on. McEwen won a stage and MIchael Rasmussen was leading the race and had a fierce fight with Contador in the mountains. It ended a catastrophic and all but the cycling was epic. Contador ended up winning the Tour and now has a total of 9 grand tours (though where remove duy to the UCI being as dumb as ever and having no concept of what clenbuterol does to the body). But if I have learned something from cycling it is that you can't dig yourself up from a pit, and you can't appear from thin air.

In 2008 Stefan Schumacher, normally a one-day-race rider with decent skill, started beating everybody in the time trails in the Tour de France. He had never done anything like that before and he rode like a mad man in breakaways. He rode for the Gerolsteiner team and his teammate Bernard Kohl was suddenly the king of the mountains. Nobody new the young Austrian before but suddenly he was the best climber of them all. The young Italianstar Riccardo Rico, who rode on Saunier Duval, had won a stage like he had done in the Giro, it was an uphill sprint finish, but some days later he took of and left everybody behind on a mountain stage. His teammate Leonardo Piepoli was winning stages like he did back in 2006 in the Giro d' Italia. He hadn't been this active in the Tour since 1996 and was suddenly back.in 2007 Alexander Vinokourov had crashed and lost time the intire race but killed all the competition in the first time trial. He then lost even more time and won yet another stage. All the riders mentioned above got busted in drug testes either during or after the Tour de France. And now all of this is happening again.

One of the riders I hate the most all time is Chris Froome. in 2011 saw hime jump out right at you with a second over-all finish and then suddenly he was better then everybody els at everything. He started out racing for Kenya, where he was born, and my god was he terrible. Froome has no tactical abilities, he has no technique at all, looks like an idiot when he's on a bike and is a prick through and through. He came from nowhere and is suddenly the "best" of the best. During last years Giro d'Italia Fabio Aru was the best rider only second to Nairo Quintana. Nobody new him but here he was, riding like Pantani all over again. Two years ago a wave of Columbians rolled through the cycling world. They had a form peak that stretched more then 2 months.Quintana rode like an idiot in the Vuelta 2011 and looked like he wasn't sure how a bike worked and 'puff' then he could beat Tony Martin in Time Trails. Carlos Betancur won almost every race he entered from February until June in 2013, when he was useless for his team Aqua & Sapone the year before. During this years Giro d'Italia Team Astana could have won the race with 7 different riders on the team. They were all better then anybody thought and rode everybody to bits until Mikel Landa, a guy I hadn't heard of until a week before the Giro was the best climber ever. I have never seen him race before the Giro but he was better then Contador and Aru combined in the mountains. And I could go on and on forever!

Cycling today is a sport that needs cleaning. Somebody's cheating so much it isn't funny anymore. Team Sky turns crabby riders and second grade talent into stars daily and team Astana could win every race of the year with their squad of nobodies. Talent or hard work makes a good rider. Not the blink of a eye or a change of team colors. UCI needs to stop fucking around and turn it around or els the sports is gonna ruin itself in guys like Aru and Froome, who cheat so obvious it just looks pathetic.




Get A Life And Start Listening To Better Music        

Sometimes I wonder, what is wrong with the world? Pt. 2.5: Carrie Mac.......... You will burn for this!

This is gonna be a short little post but filled with a lot of anger and hatred. I hate other people. I really do, because they do stuff I don't understand. The thing I don't understand is how they can be that stupid. I know what I am. I am an angry fat-ass with to much time on his hands but at least I'm not disrespectful and I know my way around people and have the greatest 'brothers' in the world. I don't hate people in general but if a person does one thing to piss me of as their first impression, then I don't give a fuck. Today a singer did just that and now I can't help but to think that I hope she gets her ass kicked.




In a commercial I saw today they played a slow song that I didn't pay attention to at the start but then I heard that word "Everywhere" and I snapped. I got online and found out that a Scottish singer-songwriter named Carrie Mac had done a cover of the Fleetwood Mac song Everywhere, which is one of my favorite songs by them, and I found it on Youtube. Then it felt like my head was about to pop. All it was, was a slowed down acoustic cover on a piano and Carrie Mac looking out a window. I scrolled down to see some of the comments and reed about how people loved it and how amazing she was for doing this and I walked outside and started chopping some wood to get the anger out, but I had to write about this shit and here we go.

How does a a singer loose that much respect for good artists? How can they not care? A cover of a song on an album or a ep is when you change something in the song so sounds different or has a different tempo, it can be a lot of things. But when you slow down a song and all you do is play piano along with your shitty singing, that is not a cover. That is rape! How dare you touch a song like that and then don't give a fuck. You get praised by stupid people who don't know shit about music and you feel real proud about yourself afterwards don't you? Well I curse you for your blasphemy. Everywhere is a gorgeous 80's pop song......... How can you sleep at night knowing that fucked it all up? You should be ashamed of yourself and I hope I never meet you, Carrie Mac, cause I will yell your ears of and make sure that you won't forget, that classics are classics because they are good in thier current form, not when a money grabbing whore puts her greasy fingers all over it.

Taylor swift once did this to The boys of Summer by Don Henley and some other girl did it with Every Breath You Take by The Police and People kiss up to them and tell them what a great job they've done, but I do hope that Justice will come to those who deserves it. Have some respect for fucks sake. Money isn't everything! I would rather go bankrupt then play a song I didn't approve of. Music is art, and would you try to paint over the Mona Lisa because you think you can do better? Didn't think so!



Get a life and start listening to better music! 

Thinking Outside The Box

It is not very often that a band or an artist with class and real talent hit the nail right on the head with the debut album. A lot of times bands have an album or two the helps them on their way and creates the a feel and sound the band takes as their own. Not even some of my favorite bands have had a smash hit debut album. Def Leppard Had two albums to go through before Pyromania and Pantera released four albums before Cowboys From Hell and I don't really like any of the albums so a lot of times a band needs to find its way around a studio and so on before it really clicks. But in 1976 something special happened and that thing was Boston.

I am an 80's guy through and through. I have never had a thing for the 70's and especially not for the rock that started out in the late 60's but somethings in the 70's was truly awesome and important to both me and the entire world of music as we know it. The year 1976 did though give me something special and it came in the shape of Boston's self titled  debut album Boston. I still have troubles sometimes, wrapping my head around how great that album was and how good it sounds. The production value is insane and the songs are so classic they became instant Rock & Roll Hall of Fame songs.

First of there wouldn't have been a Boston if it wasn't for Tom Scholz. In my book he was and still is a genius.He started out as a mechanical engineer who worked at Polaroid but he had always had an interest in music and while he work at Polaroid he build his own studio in Boston, Massachusetts. He started writing some music and recorded it by himself. He showed up at Epic Records with his demo tape and was sure that it was good enough for an entire album but Epic told him that it needed a rerecording. Tom Scholz played both Guitar, Bass, Keyboards and some of the drums on all of the songs and Brad Delp sang the vocals. Some other musicians were featured on the album but non in such a degree that they were signed with Epic records as Boston. Only Scholz and Delp where signed to a record deal and even though Epic wanted the album to be recorded in a "real" studio almost the entire album ended up being recorded in Scholz's home. When it was released in August, 1976, it was a smash hit and turned out to be the single best selling debut album ever at the time. And no wonder because some of the songs on this album are indeed special. Even if you just judge the album on its cover it should be killer cause it looks so fucking cool.

The overall sound of the album is so sharp and there is a clear red threat all the way through and you can just hear that these songs come from the same band and the same mind. The songs are not very different but still that is not a problem because they kick ass. You get a fat wall of guitars mixed with Delp's awesome high pitched voice. The organs kick in from time to time and helps the album ooze classic rock. Scholz was such a perfectionist that the songs are mixed to perfection. Everything is weaved together with the soul purpose: to sound like it was an entire band that played. And it does. Though Scholz played everything it still has the flow and feel of a whole band. By recording everything at his own pace and by himself he didn't have to pay anybody and there for had all the rights to the songs to himself. and he earned a ton of money on the album, which by the way has gone 17 times platinum.

More Than a Feeling is known by every rock fan and a lot of non rock fans. And it is just a fantastic song. It fades in and gives me all I ever wanted and screaming Les Paul that builds up to an otherwise not to heavy song. The chorus is awesome with its great voicings and when Delp hits that high G your mind blows to pieces. Scholtz has a thing for using a mix of acoustic guitars and electric guitars that gives Boston something different. More Than a Feeling gets that feel as well because the buld up to the chorus is so soft and when the guitars really kick in you get blown away because of the thickness and power they bring. A great song.

Smokin' was in GTA San Andreas and is one of the greatest driving songs of all time. It is up tempo and has rocking vocals and killer organ parts. Yet still the guitar parts are so thick and wonderful it binds it all together. You feel like a bad ass when you put this song on and nod your head along with the beat. And I can't think of a song I would rather have a bar fight to.

Foreplay/Long Time is more odd. The intro is a long dive into what an organ can do and how bad ass it can be. Then you get that guitar driven theme that leads to the "real" song and it is yet again kind of soft and the chorus is only backed by an acoustic guitar untill the end and you once again get the magical voicings and the powerhouse of a guitar sound kicking in when it needs to. The lyrics are actually deep. They are about staying true to yourself and always keep dreaming.

Hitch a Ride is maybe the softest of all the songs but it still has the same elements as the others but the one I like the better is Peace of Mind. It has a great chorus and the way it starts out with the acoustic guitars leading into the guitar driven riff is awesome. the verses works so well together with the choruses but when everything dies down and you get back to the intro near the end everything is taken up a notch. This time the Lead guitar playes the chords with power and then the riff comes along played three whole times through the outro with an octave added every time the riff has been played through twice, meaning that a whole time is the riff played twice. The song then fades and you are left with your mouth open, wondering how that could sound so awesome.

Tom Scholtz is a genius and he really created something special back in the day. Boston couldn't capture that same vibe truly again but I am so happy that they did. It is a masterclass on how to think outside of the box and do stuff your way and be true to it. 

Get a life and start listening to better music! 

  

Bring back the balls of Eurovision!

One of my favorite moments every year is when Eurovision comes around. Every spring it is time to once again listen to some of the worst and most generic music of all time and thank god it's annual. You get to see third world countries show of exactly why they are underdeveloped and see some reasonable singers and the like, perform at a level so low it should be illegal, but in 2006 something strange happened. Some heavy metal band named Lordi, all dressed up in monster style costumes, won the contest with a song named Hard Rock Hallelujah and I couldn't believe my own eyes. This post is about what happened that night and the entire problem with eurovision.

First off I voted for Lordi myself and then went on to do something els that night in may and turned back on to the Eurovision later that night and saw Lordi in front with 100 points. WTF. Lordi, off course from Finland, reminded me of Gwar an american metal band that have insane costumes on when they play. They honestly looked like crab but at least it was something els. I remember they had a number one hit in Denmark when they launched their music video and everything was crazy. I felt like it all got out of hand at the end but it was funny as hell to see them win the Eurovision Song Contest. The song is nothing out of the ordinary. It is a simple construction with a female voice in the choir to brake out of the shell and a whole bunch of organ that lays the foundation. The organ gives it a church/apocalyptic feeling but other then that it's not a special metal song. But at the time I was 13 years old and all in on metal so I thought it was kick-ass and got on board. But how the hell was this eve possible? I don't think that many men or metal fans even watch the Eurovision. so how could they have voted on Lordi. Eurovision is always watched by the same people every year here in Denmark and none of them would ever vote for Lordi, so how could this be?

I'm gonna call this how I see it. The Eurovision Song Contest is one big shenanigans. Every winner since the turn of the century has been pre-ordered or in another way been fixed to win. Lordi then seemed to be something new. A winner that wasn't a pop song you got tired of after 16 minutes. They didn't sing of love and all that normal shit, They screamed "Hard Rock Hallelujah" right in your face. But that's the thing, if they were so different then how could they ever win? Two years before Ukraine won with some of the worst shit I have ever seen. The word soon spread about how the former Eastblock countries were voting on each other and had agreed on Ukraine as their favorite. The song was terrible and I feel like Eurovision had to do something about it. The year after, they led Greece win with a gorgeous female singer Elena Paparizou and then gave a European country their first ever victory off the contest, Finland. And the song just happened to be by the band Lordi. You see some of the same tendencies every year. Azerbaijan won with another shitty song in 2011 and was again close to winning in 2013 with a song that was even worse and in 2007 Serbia won with a terrible piece of music that made every living being with a working brain throw up instantly. Conchita Wurst won this year in a contest that seemed so rigged it wasn't even funny to watch. Everybody went nuts about the bearded lady and all, and that is why she won. The song was pure crab but she/he/it won because of the publicity involved. The dutch song was the best song by far but you could see it coming from a mile away. One year Belarus came in second with a song that sounded like it was recorded in a barn with livestock in it. And this is why it's fun to watch. It's rigged as fuck and therefor funny that normal people eat it all up in good faith.

That brings me on to the next point. The main problem with the Eurovision is the songs and artists involved. Everything sounds the same and nothing is special. I think of all the songs that have entered the contests through the years there are 3 songs I like two of them are Danish and one is Swedish. God I love Carola and her song Fångad Av En Stormvind out of 1991 and the Danish song from that year Lige Der Hvor Hjertet Slår by Anders Frandsen is so soft and pure it almost gives me a hard on. Two of my favorite songs ended up winning the contest but the main point is that it's all crap from start to finish almost every year. Songs in bad English about love and a broken heart is heard over and over. Only countries from Balkan seem to think out of the box, with insane rap shows and guitar shredders blazing on stage but they always sing in a different language then English and therefor I feel like they shouldn't deserve a vote because I can't understand a word of what they're saying. I vote for them anyway to Created some havoc but who cares. Everything sounds exactly like the song before and when ever there is something special like Moldova's song from 2010 that created Epic Sax Guy it didn't even reach the finals. If everything is rigged anyway then why not make the best song win every time instead of this shit? Any way it's sad more then anything cause I think there is some real talent to find along with some good songs, but everything is chocked in the talk of equality and having a united Europe. Please bring back the balls of Eurovision or at least some decent talent from time to time!



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We can set this world ablaze!

Ever since I attended a Metallica concert in Horsens last year I have been hooked on a band called Mastodon. At the time following the concert, where they were a warm-up band, There was that one song that blew my mind. Then one day I started exploring the rest of the album my favorite song was on and found another track I fell in love with. A very good friend of mind told me about their new album last autumn but the first song was not really my cup of the so I didn't pay any attention to it. First at the start of February this year did I discover two insane songs off the new album that showed me something special. A metal band that has the incredible gift off writing heavy ass riffs with catchy and gorgeous sing-a-long choruses.

On the way down to Horsens to see Metallica we heard a song by Mastodon and though I knew it from somewhere it got a bit stuck in my mind. Then when Mastodon got on stage the song had gotten bigger in a way and even though I didn't know the lyrics I was able to sing a long and Though I watched both Metallica and Slayer following Mastodon, that song was the one I was humming afterwards. I am off course talking about the catchiest chorus ever written in metal: Oblivion. In the weeks that followed I was almost entirely listening Oblivion and nothing els. There is something about that song that I felt like I had never gotten out of any other song of the metal genre. It is one off those songs where it can play in the background at a party or something like that and I can hear it's that song but not care about it until that kick ass chorus comes and then I have to stop what i'm doing and listen to it. Mastodon has a very special set of voices in the band. Troy Sanders is the screamer off the group. he can both growl and sing rather high pitch while doing it. Though it seems like he can't always do it cause Mastodon usually lake a lot off punch when you hear a live recording. Brann Dailor is the Tenor and he has a very clean but yet a bit off a compressed voice that works awfully well in their songs, but he can't sing as well live as he can on the albums because off him having to drum like a motherfucker. Brent Hinds has a really weird voice that is kind of high but still coming from the back off his throat so it isn't to high. His vocal performance on Oblivion's chorus is insane. His different voicings mix perfectly together, but that has made it really hard to reenact on stage. But it's not really a problem when you see them live yourself.  

The album Crack the Skye is awesome and all but I don't get that awesome vibe off the other songs but there is one song that I think is great but in a completely different way then Oblivion. The Last Baron is a big and epic composition the goes beyond 13 minutes. And right from the get go you hear that insane opening line "I'd guess the would say we could set this world ablaze" and my god what and opening line that is. the song is very prog like and has some elements that are worse then others but the good parts are almost genius. One part in particular is awesome. about 8 minutes in the songs complexity changes completely and you go from a big proggy and apocalyptic sound, to a more punk like riff that blows my mind. It is so awesome and really is a hidden gem in a really long song that some times and be a bit to much.The lyrics in both The Last Baron and Oblivion are heavy but still have a fantasy feel. They have a way of making coll words rime with each other. The Oblivion chorus is three lines long and the three lines just fit perfectly to each other and the song's sound. "Falling from grace cause I've been away to long. Leaving you behind with my lonesome song. Now i'm lost, in Oblivion", Holy shit that's good The guitar work is so awesome and the solo just works so well with the rest off the song that the only guitar parts that beat it is the guitar work in the chorus, wich is just insane.It is a one of a kind chorus and i thought nothing would ever come close.



But I was wrong. The same band once again created almost perfection and this time they made to off them and on the same album: Once More Round The Sun. High Road is the song I like the least of the two but it is still a really good song that has that same feel Oblivion has. Again it's the catchy chorus the makes you wanna scream along to Brann Dailor's great tenor voice. A contrast build song that shifts from vers to chorus in a great way and it just fits together. Though I think the verses are a bit to dark sometimes and it's not a song I can listen to every day, but it's not at all bad.

The one song that really comes close to Oblivion is off course The Motherload. My god what a creation. It is contrary to High Road, more pop like. When I say pop like, I mean it has a simpler structure and is not as edgy and heavy in its build up. But boy, do I feel like i'm flying when that chorus comes around. The lyrics, in my book, speak about a person that has been wronged and cheated but this time it won't happen again, and that to me is awesome. You feel like Mastodon themselves or some out of this world power is watching over you and won't let you get fooled again. "This time, this time. Things will work out just fine. We won't let you slip away. This time, this time. Things will work out just fine. We won't let you leave this way". You can't help but to scream along, while chills rolls down your spine cause it's so awesome. Followed up by the high growl like voice of Troy Sanders and it's time to crack some skulls. This band really has something special within them. They can create almost perfect songs and to do that from a metal stand point is insane. You would have to be either Dimebag or a really special band with really talented people to pull that of and Mastodon in deed are special.
Morten........ Tusind tak!


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A song that changed my life pt. 2: A transvestite creating umbrella!

This time around we're moving towards something really far from the music I have been listening to all my life. I have off course had my moments with electronic music and such but only when I got drunk or was gaming some high octane in quake 3 arena, but I was never ever a techno dude. But some songs get to me sometimes and stick around for a week or two, all but one. The first time I heard this song I was 6 or 7 years old and it was in a top ten hit-list here in Denmark called 'Boogie listen' where you saw new music videos and they had a top 10 of the most popular songs at the time. I was disturbed by what I saw and never forgot it. The music sounded weird to me at the time and the video was crazy so a didn't like it at all. Three years ago I heard it again and I was blown away. Suddenly everything made sense and I have loved the song ever since and worship the guy who created a timeless masterpiece. I am off course talking about Windowlicker by Aphex Twin.

it was 1999 and I felt sick to my stomach. Watching pretty women getting transformed into some mix between a man and a woman. All of them having a huge smile ten miles wide across their faces. Some guy was dancing like Patrick Swayze out of Dirty Dancing and he had a black umbrella that seemed to cause the transformation. And everything came with a weird beat and some goofy sounds. In other words: heaven.
Something brand new and different had just happened and now I'm old and wise enough to embrace it. Windowlicker is art from start to finish. One of my friends put it in a way that shows what this "song" is: Timeless and timeless it is. It wouldn't have mattered if the song had been released in 1994, 2004 or yesterday it so classical and yet new that it just works from the year 1990 and onward.




The song has one of the strangest lyrics I have heard. It is no more and different sounds like "dum dum dum" and "aaiieeeuurrgggh" but it just works like nothing els. Aphex Twin recorded his own voice and then bends and pitches the vocals so that they fit into each other singing different tones and working like vocal voicing. Right from the get go I feel i chill og awesomeness coming all the way up from my back. You hear a deep "ooohhhhh" that is follow by those odd but still amazing keys that work as a sort of back beat along with the drumpad that hits almost random beats at times throughput the song. This sounds weird I know but I don't know how els to put it. It is a weird composition but some how it is the best piece of electronic music to ever come out of a studio. 

On every level this song is insane. The thought of creating a piece of music with this form and shape is just crazy and I have no clue how this song started out. Even the backbone, the beat, is so different that can't see how to move on from it and start adding layers. The vocals are so soothing a calm that they just blend together into a big bowl of gorgeous mixture. At the time this was never scene before. Now bending and pitching vocals are all around us but still to this day, nothing comes even close to the manner of perfection that features in Windowlicker. And I don't think I'll ever hear anything getting near it in my lifetime. This piece of music is unique. Nothing will ever sound like it or have the same feeling. Once in a while a song, movie or book hits a brand new spot that sets the tone for everything els and Windowlicker is such a song. 

Aphex Twin/Richard D. James has ever since been seen as a god by poeple who have a brain that works from a musical point of view and rightfully so. He became a millionare over night and his song and the music video that followed set the world a blaze with medie attention and buzz. Everytime I hear this song I get a smile as wide as the one the women and Aphex Twin has in the music video and I fly away in a sea of perfection I have very rarely felt. Aphex Twin invented dubstep in 1998/99 some 12 or so years before it became popular. That is his insane genius. Inventing something 10 years before it was "really" invented is talent at a level above everybody els. Windowlicker gave me a new perspective when looking at popular and electronic music and regard myself as blessed because I can sit with some of my best friends and mimic the vocals while having big smiles o our faces. Thank you Mr. Richard D. James for making this one of a kind piece of music and being so insane.

Thank You.



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Bang, You're Dead Max Payne!

In this post I will dive into one of my all time favorite game-franchises. I started out with Max Payne by buying Max Payne 2: The fall of Max Payne, on sale in a local supermarket for a price, somewhere around, 15 dollars, and I was blown away. I had tried the first Max Payne game at a friend on PlayStation 2 but hadn't really tried it for good, so I was shocked at how incredible it was. Max Payne 3 was a really good follow up and was off course improved in a lot off ways, but still had the same core values as the previous games had. The movie on the other hand was not so great. I don't hate it at all but it lacks a lot of key things a Max Payne fan wants. In this post i'll take a closer look at what made the games good and bad and have a look at what failed in the movie. The video games will be refereed to as: Max Payne 1, Max Payne 2/The fall of Max Payne, Max Payne 3 and the movie as: Max Payne the movie/The Movie.

First off the first game was a revolution in the sense that it change third person shooters forever. Though graphics and some of the mechanics are out dated, compared to today's standards, they were brand new and still to this day work really well.I don't think a series like Hitman would've gotten anywhere if not for Max Payne. Though Some games can pull of having a lot of extra mechanics and cutting edge Technology a lot off the time it's the simple things that work. Paine killers, Shoot, Reload, Movement, jump, Interact, aim and scroll through your weapons. That is all it took. Off course there are other keys, such as crouching and walking instead of running but you don't need them at all to get through the game. Everything is straight forward and you blazing way through mansions and subway stations along with your Winchester 1300 and a couple of Beretta 92fs'. there are off course other weapons but I think those two are the most significant, though a Desert Eagle is always lovely to have in your back pocket. The whole Idea off having the story told in a form of comic-style cut scenes was completely new and gives both the first and the second game an edge and storytelling to it, that no other game has had ever since.And leads me into the best part of the entire franchise: The story. 

The story was to me what set the first two games apart from everything els. One of the best maps to ever be produced is the first part of Max Payne 1. Everything gets explained and you start off at the end with Max Telling how it could ever had come to this. On August the 22. 1998 Max is going home from a days work at the NYPD. He has a beautiful wife and a lovely baby daughter waiting for him at home. His former partner Alex Balder, now with the DEA, talks with him about going over to the DEA but Max is not interested because he wants to focus on his family. and off course you have Already gotten the fact that James McCaffrey is the perfect cast. His voice is awesome and fits Max like a glove. Max Returns to Jersey where he lives and finds his home a mess. Chairs knocked over, Cabinets open and a big green V is tagged on a wall. The phone rings and it's some elder lady who seems glad that something is wrong"At the Payne Residence". Max runs upstairs and is met by junkies on the new drug Valkyr. He finds his little daughter butchered and wife murdered in a sea off blood. It is one off the best starts to an epic drama I have ever seen.

Max continuous through out the game, to dream and think about his wife and daughters murder and you see just how affected he is by him having constant nightmares and thoughts towards the incident. In nightmares he blames himself and the reality around him morphs into his dreams. This happens through out the first two games mostly and helps the player interact with Max and feel for his cause. To meet the sexy and cold killer Mona Sax and the charismatic Russian mobster Vladimir Lem. Characters who play a huge role in the second game and I love how the characters are pulled over into the second game. Some of the voice work sounds a bit low budget but at ads to the comic feel in the cut scenes

In Max Payne 2. The Fall of Max Payne you get just what you wanted: more of the same. The comic book style cut scenes, A fantastic voice actor casting, some of the same weapons, awesome storytelling filled with those long metaphors you see time and time again in the first game, updated graphics and great overall feel and impressions. Max Payne 2 feels a bit shorter then the first one and is a bit easier the play trough, when you look at the difficulty of the game. The story though is easier to follow but you still have the same feel for Max has he is screwed time and time again by people around him. The soundtrack, Late Goodbye by Poets of the Fall has the same melancholic and sad tone that the game evolves around and it also has that same light at the end off the tunnel feel you have in the game. I mean by this that at some point things have to end for Max Payne and please let him have revenge and at least die with a smile on his face.

Though the voice acting in the first game is great it is almost perfect in Max Payne 2. Vladimir Lem, voiced by Jonathan Davis, is so awesome and so cool. He really pictures that arrogant attitude that a Russian Mob boss should have. Wendy Hoopes has that soothing and soft though jet firm voice that fits Mona perfectly. James McCaffrey is flawless and a guy like Vinnie Gognitti is this time around a bit less fake and his panicky high pitch voice feels more real and fitting this time. The overall dialog is amazing from start to finish. Every time Vladimir Lem opens his mouth he is so calm and calculating you can't help but to smile knowing how well he played Max in the cleaner business.Though the Soundtrack during game play is simple and still based upon the soundtrack from the first game. It is much more heard this time and those deep piano parts really fits the storytelling. An example of that is when Max first has a talk to Vlad at his Restaurant and his Monologue is sublimely supported by the dark music around him. Some of the lines Max Payne has are just astonishing. When Annie Finn is killed in front off him he says "Like all the bad things in my life, it started with the death of a woman". Then you think right back at his wife and daughter and get that whole feeling again that everything is gonna get messy with the blood of bad guys in the near future.

A cool detail is that the TV-Series Lords and Ladies is still going strong in the second game. You can stand at a TV and listen to the cheesy lines going back and forth between the nobles being acted out in the series. Dick Justice was a name that a security guard gave his gun in the first game and now it's a TV-Series about the policeman Dick Justice. His life is very similar to Max Payne's and is set in the 70's so big Afro here we go. Address Unknown is a weird psychological horror series that at some point in the game morphs with one of Max's nightmares. A sadistic killer is killing in another mans name and has lines that echo the first game. "The flesh of fallen angels" and so on. They give the game a sort of self-conscious and ads to the replay value. the final level is long and hard and ends just the way you want it to even though Mona dies in most of the endings. It is still one hell of a game. 

Max Payne 3 is a completely different animal to deal with. It is by no means a bad game. not even close, but it lacks some of the magic. I feel like the story is a bit to far fetched when it comes to Max's involvement. I know he promised his friend and boss to help and save his boss' family but I still feel like he could just had run away at any point during the game. The setting in Brazil on the other hand is awesome and depicted perfectly. I know how crappy a country it is and I really think that all that happened in the game happens once a month in real life Brazil. The graphics are awesome and the mechanics work perfectly. Max is down and out and finds himself in trouble he can only get out of if he loads his guns and start nailing some head shots. The game is a real challenge in the higher difficulty levels and challenges and collectibles ad to the replay value. The multiplayer part is good and works well enough not to drag the game down. Once again the voice acting is awesome and the level designs are really special. The Panama Mission is really cool inside the canal and all that. Though I like the New York parts the best every chapter and part have something good about it. Max Payne 3 seems to have more focus on the shooter part of the game and it does that really well. The story is sometimes hard to follow and I still have question on the whole situation about panama and all that but you get the major points at your first play through. What you miss is your caring for Max. He is not really involved in a big way with the people killed other then they pay his bills. Other then that the game is excellent through and through and was a fitting end to the franchise if it turns out to be the end.

Max Payne the movie featuring Mark Wahlberg as Max Payne, is hated by a lot of people. I for one like it but not as a Max Payne movie. If you just watch it as an action movie it is awesome but is just messes with a lot of things that it should have kept as they were. Mark Wahlberg is on of my favorite actors. He is a badass all day long and I think he is alright as Max thou he might to much of a bad boy then an angry and revenge filled regular guy, though his no nonsense gun scenes are good. The military adaptation of Valkyr and Jack Lupino is good in my book. It would have been to weird to have all the satanic stuff and all that hanging around. The Valkyr part with burning skies and fallen angels is awesome. but here come the faults.

Valkyr is green not blue, so why make it blue. It would have been killer with green flames engulfing Max when he takes it but they chose a more linear and normal take on it. Some of the guns use in the movie are really well picked out but MONA SAX USES A DESERT EAGLE why even bother getting her another gun? The use of BB and having him be the bad guy is just wrong. He had nothing to do with the murder of Max's family. The role of BB is so wrong and the entire Aesir thing is so weird and complicated it makes no sense. Michelle didn't work for them but just by accident got involved with the Valhalla project that came to be Valkyr. Jim Bravura is black..... What? That is just ludicrous ;) Mila Kunis is hot like always but is not how I see Mona Sax. The entire story about Mona is so messed up I won't mention it at all. Nicole Horn is so far out in the distance I fail to see what the point of having her in the movie was. The scene where Max's family is murdered is ok but if some of the darkness of the games had been present it would have worked much better. The movie just seems rushed to me and should have been more true to the story. All that in mind it's not a bad action movie and still gets me when Max is on a rampage in Aesir Corporation at the end. And the scene where Max takes some Valkyr is killer. But it's not a Max Payne movie...... Not even close.

All that in mind I love the Franchise. Rockstar once again hit the Jackpot and impacted me forever. They made me replay every chapter time and time again after I bought Max Payne 2 and it was a pleasure. they are geniuses and I wish for them to once again make something new and unique so I can feel that rush again like I did the first time I played Max Payne 2.

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