Star Wars VII Stupidity Awakens

I have been a Star Wars fan for as long as i can remember. I remember going to the movies with my dad, uncle and two cousins to see Star Wars Episode I - The Phantom Menace and I loved it. I am one of the few who prefer the prequels instead of the sequels but I like episode 4, 5 and 6 as well. I played the video games and had lightsaber duels with my friends and all but I didn't read any of the books or anything like that. I just liked the movies, the Jedi's and the entire universe as a whole. Then Disney walked into the room and announced the seventh movie and I looked forward to it in many ways and knew in a way that at least it would probably by a very good looking movie. But even some of the most impressive CGI effects I have ever seen couldn't save Star Wars VII from being one of the worst experiences I have had with a movie.

I didn't really hate on the sale of the Star Wars franchise to Disney because George Lucas isn't a perfect director by any means. What they did to Indiana Jones was a rape beyond belief. So I thought that now we would get some new movies and all, so it was okay. But the way the Star Wars universe was turned into this soft and pretty family movie that was so linear You had figured out the plot after watching six seconds of the first trailer. We will get to the butchering of the lore later but first of one of the biggest problems I have with this movies is that it's basically a reboot of Star Wars - A New Hope.









Every major piece of this plot is taking right out of the first Star Wars movie. You have a droid that holds a very important secrete. A Major elderly character dies by the hands of a former friend/ally/son, there is a big rescue mission, An evil empire like enemy has a huge weapon that the good guys has to destroy in a fashion that involves a full scale assault and a slow ass and intense fly-by bombing, The meet-up with Han and Chewbacca takes place under fire and is followed by an escape and it just goes on and on and on. This is so linear and boring. Why didn't you just make a real reboot of A New Hope with the same actors, some script and all, but with modern film technology. You go out a brag about this being the new chapter and talk about how the force awakens and you show of the First Order as the new empire but it doesn't fucking work when you're watching a 3 hour long cliche with things you've already seen before 100 times on dvd. It was an amazing movie visually and the Starkiller Base looks amazing but if I wanted a movie that looked good but had a plot that didn't make sense and bad acting I would watch Pacific Rim. It's that simple. This is a Star Wars movie! This is not Predator or a Starcraft the movie. This has to make sense in at least the way the prequels did. And when you boast yourself with having created something new and you're kinda starting over on the biggest franchise of all time it has to work. 

And one of the biggest ways The Force Awakens fails is in the plot. The overall whole makes sense in the kid friendly and Hollywood way where we like each other and the bad guys took a beating. But there are so many stupid details that screw up everything. The first one is: How the fuck does Luke's old sword get in the hands of the innkeeper? If it was that fucking easy to get a hold off don't you think Luke would have gotten it from that Bespin tunnel system at some point instead of building a new one? We all saw Luke fall through the shafts and hang on to that antenna thing after Darth Vader cut of his hand and dropped the daddy bomb on him, so why hasn't the lightsaber gone the same way? Bespin is a gas planet that almost has no substance. How the hell do you find a lightsaber in the atmosphere of a gas planet when you don't know where to look? There are so many questions about this retarded detail. You could just have taken Obi Wan's saber from the fourth movie because it is onboard the death Star after he's killed by Vader. Maybe a Stormtrooper could've taken it or Vader could've hidden it and a scavenger found it after an Imperial Destroyer crashed or hell anything. It could also have been Luke's new saber which he could've given to the innkeeper. the fact that it's Luke and Anakin's old lightsaber ruins it all. Even the Traitor guy can't save the part at the inn cause it makes no fucking sense.

Captain Phasma is the biggest waste of time I have ever seen. Uuhhh look she's played by the big bitch from Game of Thrones and what does she do? Nothing. But that's not even the biggest problem I have with that character. Because why would a company or army as large as The First Order even consider recruiting women? Nothing against women at all, they can be just as powerful and tactically sound as men but recruiting women mean that you need two types of every part of gear you have. The female body is different then the male body so they can't wear the same armor. Then add the fact that the average woman is shorter then the average man so you would recruit more men then women because your army has to have some standards concerning the physic of your soldiers. So you have to get two types of armor so that the few females you have in your army has an armor that fits. That is an logistic nightmare. Either it's male or female soldiers you have both makes no sense. And why wouldn't you just cut every single case of difference by using clones. The movie mentions clone troops so why on earth would you risk having a guy like Finn in your army? Don't take that chance how millions of the same guy follow your orders. Just a brain dead plot hole that makes The First Order look like a bunch of retards!





But by far the biggest issue I have with the Force Awakens is how it takes a shit on the entire lore concerning the force. Mastering the force takes talent and years of effort, practice and focus. You go from being a padawan, to a knight and finally a jedimaster. You have to be patient, have knowledge, wisdom and earn the respect of the master and tradition. You're told that not every jedi or force sensitive are equally powerful. Not everybody can be the choose one or Yoda but you can still improve you still have to work hard to enhance your skills. The Force Awakens takes a big shit on all that. Rey can be as hot as she wants but you're telling me this dessert chick is gonna out force Kylo Ren, a skilled force user that's been training for years? You're telling me she has mastered the force hours after learning she was a force sensitive? And that she is better with a lightsaber then Kylo Ren as well? Bull to the fucking shit! You can't do that! Even Anakin Skywalker had to train his ass of to become the chosen one. Yeah he was good at fixing stuff and flying but you can't just use the force whenever just because you think you know what it is. If that logic is the going standard why the fuck would you even bother finding Luke. Just go with it. You already beat the bad guy once. You're on a roll, stick with it. No, you know what? There is no need for the jedi. There's no need for a jeditemple you can simple just do it out of know where so why give a damn. The Force Awakens ruins everything the was pure and great about the jedi. They had to work for it, be patient and good to achieve their power. It's all pointless now cause some bitch can master the force inside hours! 

A movie can be as beautiful and stunning looking as it wants but when you're dealing with franchise that is as widespread and big as Star Wars is then you can't just take a shit on everybody. Now, the new fans of the franchise, the kids who saw their first Star Wars movie last December thinks that this is how it works and that is wrong. They'll get butchered for their thoughts on the force and the jedi all because this movie tries to rewrite the entire lore. And in doing so have created so many enemies that the real fan can't help but to cry and be angry that it went down this way.




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The Top 3 Debut Albums of All Time

Rarely, a band or an artist strikes gold on their first effort. A genre or the use of an instrument can be completely redefined by the release of one album. Though it rarely happens and it hasn't really happened since the year 2000 a debut album can be special and set an artist up for life and solidify their legacy before it has really begun. These 3 albums have done just that. They have created something new and unique for its time and mean a great deal to me. These are my top 3 debut albums of all time.


3. Van Halen - Van Halen, 1978

This albums is hard enough to avoid on your regular top 10 albums list, because it launched a new genre. Van Halen lifted the guitar up to new heights and cleared a path for all the glam and heavy 80's rock that sprung up during the 1980's. Eddie Van Halen spawned a generation of guitar players who were adventures and experimenting. Though it wasn't unique in every way. Van Halen started the Heavy Rock movement that lasted up until the early 90's and are still to this day touring the world with their many hits. David Lee Roth was sort of a mix of David Coverdale and Steven Tyler. A good looking guy with a lot of energy, way to loose hips and a good voice. He took it up a notch and his act on stage was one of the first really flamboyant lead singers, but he still didn't take to much focus of the music like Cloverdale and Tyler still do to this day. The album is quit varied in a way, cause some of the songs are different, though they share the same backbone. Running With The Devil is much harder and more thumping then Dance the night away, And Eruption is of course Eruption. This album also meant that guitar driven music could be bought by everybody. It became more mainstream and broad. This album has that in common with the next album on this list.

2. Toto - Toto, 1978

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Thank god for Steve Lukather. He is one of a few beacons in the pitch black darkness known as modern popular music! The first time he appeared for real was on Toto's self titled debut album in 1978. This album was the launch pad for a future pop/rock giant that would set the pace and standard for the next 25 years or so. Tot shows what the band was and still is capable of right from the first album. You got the swinging and groovy pop songs, the classic stadium rock song and regular pop/rock songs with that jazzy feel to em. The highlights on the album start of with I'll Supply the Love where Steve Lukather starts things of with a funk style riff a bit like Long Train' Runnin' with the Doobie Brothers. When you hear those chords you someway know the song even though it's the first time you hear it. The chorus is easy to learn and before you know it your yelling on the top of your longs along with Bobby Kimball. The fact that Toto was a group of session musicians who formed a band together is essential because the band is so tight and knows what they have to do when recording. That awareness and attention to detail was gonna prove to be a way to stardom come 1982 but that's another story. Georgy Porgy is a slow and groovy song whit a bit of funk pop to it. It's rather straight forward and has that great groove that makes you wanna boogie to it. It's almost like it's an Earth Wind and Fire song but with Steve Lukather on vocals. The Anthem of the album is of course the classic rock monster Hold the Line. Apart from being one of the best and most recognizable riffs of all time it holds all the Toto traits: Great choir, fine lyrics, The band working as a well oiled machine and a killer solo. The fact that the song starts of with piano makes it just that bit different and more interesting in the beginning. But that riff, oohhh my. How do you write something like dad and that solo when you're 21 years old? I don't get it. Steve Lukather does though and thank god for that. The Chorus is again one you can just yell out loud and it doesn't matter if you don't really know the lyrics. The solo is what will turn out to be vintage Lukather and it just completes what is an amazing song and a great album.


1. Christopher Cross - Christopher Cross, 1979

Christopher Cross is a relatively new thing for me. I knew Ride Like the Wind because it's in Anchorman 2 but one day I was watching a family Guy episode and this soft, gentle and beautiful song was played during a montage and a new world opened up in front of me. This album was one of the first to be recorded entirely digital and had what I would call an all-star personnel. Christopher Cross was totally unknown before this album but Michael McDonald toke him in and the result is unique. Christopher Cross created a soft-rock sound unlike any other at the time and the production is so clean and fluid it's unbelievable. You got Eric Johnson and Steve Lukather on guitar, Tommy Taylor on drums, Michael McDonald on backing vocals, Lenny Castro on percussion and so on and the result is out of this world. Ride Like the Wind is the odd song out because it's classic Rock and Roll and it's such a cool song with McDonald on backing vocals and the run away feel you get from the lyrics and overall sound. But the gem of the album is of course Sailing. Sailing might be the best production I've ever heard of a song. You float in on a pillow of strings and carried further on by an Eric Johnson style chorus smothered guitar and Castro's chimes. Christopher Cross' vocals are velvet smooth. The way the chorus peeks just a bit and the comes back down is spectacular. The lyrics just add to the sensation you get of almost flying or drifting away. The part after the second chorus where everything gets a little bit more fusion based is vintage Eric Johnson chording and it fits the song to a key. Though Cristhopher Cross didn't do a whole lot more after this album I take the liberty of including Arthur's Theme into this album because it's a single release in between albums. Arthur's Theme is the soundtrack to the movie Arthur and it's such a great pop song with an amazing sing along chorus and feel good vibe to it. So soft and yet still with a bit of edge in the power Christopher Cross sings it in. You of course get a saxophon solo to top it off but it's the chorus that makes me want to comeback time and time again. From 1979 to 1981 Christopher Cross was the best singer-songwriter on the planet and his first album is a soft-rock masterpiece. And if you pull Arthur's Theme into the account it is just spectacular.




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A tale of Heresy

Last Christmas I got a big box filled with books. It was a box set of 12 bestsellers and an extra book with short-stories. I had never before wanted books for Christmas but after I had borrowed one from a friend I took a chance and I have fallen completely in love with a universe, I was into when I was 13 years old. The Warhammer 40.000 universe. More precisely the Horus Heresy. In this post I will write about why I have fallen in love with the story and characters and also why I sometimes hate it.


I have a huge problem with the entire Heresy episode. And that is; I'm rooting for the wrong team. I know Horus is gonna die and everything is gonna blow up in his face and the Traitor legions will flee to the Eye of Terror but I have never felt so captivated by any type of writing like I did when I read the first 3 chapters og Horus Rising. The author Dan Abnett is a genius at what he does. You get no introduction at all and is thrown right into a war, that you se from the eyes of Garviel Loken, Captain of the 10th company in the Luna Wolves Legion, and right from the moment I finished the first page I knew I was gonna be a traitor legion guy. Horus is the first of the 20 Primarchs and by far the most bad ass of them all. Each primarch seems to have one specialty like Regal Dorn of the Imperial Fists is a master in fortification, Angron of the World Eaters is a butcher, Ferrus Manus of the Iron Hands is a master craftsman and so on, but to me Horus can do everything he wants to. The emperor has elected him to be the Warmaster while he goes back to Terra (Earth), because of that reason. Loken and his company spring a trap in the throne room on the fake Terra planet they are invading and while he hangs on for dear life a teleportationbeam appears and a demigod walks out of it and takes out the shock wave like bomb that was placed in the throne room. I remember that I had to put the book down and think; "what the hell had just happened?". Right at that moment, Horus had me. I dived into the Luna Wolves and got blown away by their brilliance. 

Through out the various books you follow different legions and characters in different parts of the galaxy and not all of them are equally good, but you still feel like it's all a part of the bigger picture and all. There is one thing though, through every book you see what chaos does and how it works and I fucking love it! You are slowly introduced to the warp and the chaos inside it and some of the chaos gods show themselves at various points. Primarch Fulgrim and his legion is deeply affected by the chaos god known as Slaaneesh. Slaaneesh is the god of pleasure and emotion and the transformation Fulgrim and The Emperor's children undergo is gripping and intens. They go from being a perfectionistic and arrogant Legion to a completely insane mass of kill seeking lunatics. The struggle Fulgrim undergoes himself is a long battle that sees him vanish into the darkest corner of his own mind and then a Demon of Slaaneesh takes control of his body. Fulgrim beheads his brother-Primarch Ferrus Manus while The traitor legions fight the Salamanders, Raven Guard and the Iron Hands on Istvan 5. The battle known as the Drop Site Massacre shows exactly why chaos is so fascinating. Legions that were once loyal to the emperor are turned into killing machines who fight former allies and brothers while guided by powers so imens even the Eldar don't dare touch it.


I'm a traitor guy all the way and therefor are my favorite legions part of the heresy. A lot of people don't like the Death Guard or don't really have an opinion on them but I think that the fact they are plain and simple is a plus. They don't ware ornaments or have any paint on their armors and ships. Mortarion is not a flashy guy he is a machine. The Death Guard legion keep on going and are well known for being methodical and really good at terring and breaking down the enemy whit now rest or pause in their war making. The Luna Wolves or Sons of Horus as they're called now are sort of a mix between some of the other legions. They reflect their Primarch Horus and his  ability to be good at everything. But the Sons of Horus are known for being the best at infiltrating fortresses. The Imperial Fists build the fortres and the Sons of Horus take it down. Some of the characters you get to know in the first couple of books are awesome characters. Loken is so likable that, even though I knew he would never be a traitor along with his friend Tarik Torgaddon, I still cheer for him to kick Abaddon's ass on Istvan 3. The Word Bearers are Lorgar's legion. i hated them at first because of Chaplain Erebus. Erebus is on a mission to turn Horus into the arms of chaos but he is so easy to see through and foolish in some of his planning that you can't help but think; "Why did no one but Loken and some remembrancers figure it out?" he is so obvious and I still hate him but after reading Scions of the Storm in Tales of Heresy I love them. The emperor thought Lorgar a fool and he didn't like it. The son who always loved his father more then anything in the world was told to stop it and he did. He did it so much that the fate of humanity was painted in blood. Another legion I really like is the Alpha Legion. They do nothing by the book and a wrapped in mystery and shadows. I love sneaky warfare and the fact that they know so much more then every other legion when it comes to the warp and mysterious powers. Nobody knows for certain what they're doing at any point. They've gone rogue from the get go, and always get the job done. Are there two Primarchs in the Alpha legion? Alpharius and Omegon or just one? I love the intriges and confusion they leave behind as well as their armor and their symbol the hydra.

The of course there are some legions a really hate. First of are the Ultramarines. For some reason are the Ultramarines better then everybody els. They are above all the other Astartes because they're Ultramarines. They seem to have no respect for the other Primarchs. Only their own, Roboute Guilliman, is worth a damn and to me that's bullshit. Some of the Primarchs hate each other but to think of only your own Primarch as worthy of the emperor's embrace is blasphemy. But if there's one legion that really pisses me of then it's the Space Wolves. How can rules be different when it comes to one legion. Why can they seemingly do what ever they want and get away with it? Leman Russ, The Primarch of the Space Wolves, is the Emperor's lapdog. The Space Wolves are supposed to be his assassin's or special forces of some kind, and Leman Russ is, as an example, to escort Magnus the Red back to the Emperor for violating the rules of warp magic. Rules that don't exist when it comes to the Space Wolves. They have visions and druids who perform rituals on their home world of Fenrir and that is allowed by the emperor. Lorgar musn't worship the emperor as a god and Magnus is not allowed the explorer the warp. But on Fenrir you can do whatever you want as long as you're a Space Wolf. What The Fuck? And of course Space Wolves and Ultramarines are better in combat then all the other astartes.

This leads me to a point that leaves me frustrated. How can one astartes be better then the other? In The Battle for the Abyss a couple of Ultramarines, one Space Wolfe and one World Eater take on an entire ship filled with Word Bearers and Thousands of human soldiers. The World Eathers, though you've been told they are experts in close- quarter and boarding combat, are useless. The World Eater has been on board the and trapped in the ship for weeks and they can't find him. So there's no tracking on board the Furious Abyss or any cameras or sensors? And the World Eather knows your ship better then you do? BS. at some point the 3 loyal astartes are cornered by some 15 World Eaters, but they fly right through them. Every time the traitor legions or allies fail they fail in some stupid and impossible fashion. On Mars when everything goes bananas Titan machines loyal to the fabricator general are just standing there, watching while their comrades are blown to bits. I know I'm cheering for the losing team, but still. Let the loyalists win an even fight by a small margin or by a close call. The entire civil war is won on a close call. Let the entire wall be one enormous rope pulling where nobodies giving an inch and the winner is found by a nose.


But even though this really bothers me it won't change the fact that I love this universe and the stories about it. Everything is so bloody and action packed and the warp and what's in it, really has me in a grip. Horus is my Warmaster and therefor the true leader of mankind and though I know he comes up short at the end somewhere deep down I still hope it turns out different for him when I read it myself. Lupercal!




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My 10 most mythical guitars

In this post I will be writing about the 10 guitars I have the most desire to own and have had a crush on for the longest. These guitars are not necessarily some you can bye and some of them are specific to a certain player and in that way carries a lot of passion and love for me.

10 Ibanez Jem 25 Anniversary/JS 1200. I think that every guitar player that knows just the slightest about shredding has dreamed about owning a JEM. The JEM I like best was the one they did on the 25th anniversary for the guitar model and it was made out of see through plastic and had glow in the dark paint colored in and a light that would turn on via one of the pods and it would glow in that green  and killer color. The JEM is a shredders wet dream and is a great guitar and I would love to own one some day but  the Ibanez JS-1200 series is (I think) better suited to me and what I want to do. Recently I have dived into the world of Joe Satriani and it has been amazing. I like Steve Vai and all, and I think he is more varied in his play but some of the songs and melodies Joe Satriani has created are fantastic. And I think the relatively simple style of the JS and its versatility is more to my liking then what the JEM does.

9. Gibson Les Paul Bullseye. Zakk Wylde has been a huge influence on me for as long as I can remember. And he still has. I believe that in a few months in 1991 he was the best guitar player on the planet. I say that because of how great the No More Tears album really is. every riff, solo and chorus is amazing and he wrote that shit. His sound is unique and those guitars oohhh my. I thought it looked so awesome when I was little and watch Ozzy Osbourne live at Budokan with my dad and saw the big bearded monster who was swinging it around like a Norse god. His bullseyes where beautifully made and it was my favorite guitar up until some pint in my early years. I've been a Gibson guy everyday of my life and that Les Paul Bullseye is the ultimate metal Gibson and I would still love to have one and good I would make it scream.

8. Music Man JP. I have always thought of John Petrucci as a master. He is one of the most well rounded players ever and has the songs to show it. He started of with Ibanez and made some really good guitars but his Music Man JP's are simple astonishing. His custom DiMarzio Liquifire and Crunch Lab humbuckers are amazing. I even put those into my Stirling JP50 and it made it a new instrument. Music Man guitars are odd in some ways but when you get used to them you can't let em go. They are fantastic instruments and really are unique and I think that's why Petrucci switched over. He wanted something more special and he got it. Those JP Ernie Ball Family Reserve are sometimes out of this world.

7. Washburn N4 Snakeskin. Nuno is a genius! I don't think I need to say any more. But I will anyway. The Washburn N4 is one of the only guitars Washburn make that actually is boutique. They make some decent acoustics but there electrics are mostly cheaper metal guitars. They had a stroke of genius when the N4 was made. it fitted perfectly to Nuno and though simple can play everything. And then you put snakeskin on it????? Holy fuck that looks good. The N4 is a classic now and I don't think there's anything like it out there. It's so good that you don't care that it's not a Suhr or a PRS. It's one of a kind and if your a rocker with a hunger for heavy this should be your tool. I wish it was mine!


6. Fender Stratocaster Eric Johnson. If you know me or have read some of the stuff on this block you know how much I adore Eric Johnson. The is why this guitar is on the list. There is no point for me to buy a "normal" Stratocaster but the EJ Strat is special. Eric has approved everything on it and that's why they sell so well. This guitar has gone a step further then the rest. It is made to fit the specifications of the biggest perfectionist in the art of guitar playing. This is by far the guitar on this list I am the closest to buying. And I genuinely think that my next guitar will be an EJ Strat or number 3 on this list. It would be the perfect compliment to my Les Paul Traditional.

5. Dean/Washburn Dime. Now we're starting to enter an area where I can't help but get a bit sentimental. Dime is my god! I worship the ground he walked on. I don't care if it's a Dean or a Washburn. I just fucking want one some day. The Dime and the Razorbacks that Dean now make remind me off why I started listening to Pantera and therefor how my passion for guitars started. Sometimes the Dime's are cheap and not of very high quality but some of the more expensive Deans are great. But as long as they have the Dimebuckers it really doesn't matter. Crank up the Volume and scope the mid and of you go to the epicenter of The Great Southern Trendkill. The Washburn models where never really that popular but they had some pretty finishes and should be good guitars but if I had to pick one I would get The Dean Cemetery Gates Razorback with all included. Then I would play  5 Minutes Alone on and on and on, and get a pink goatee.

4. Charvel/Jackson Soloist. There is only one super-strat. Everything els is a mock-up. The soloist is the only real super-strat, because of it's diversity. It could and can do anything. I think they look fantastic but the main reason I like them so much is because of Shawn Lane. He got Charvel to make him some semi custom Soloists. Charvel was owned by Jackson at that time in the late 80's/early 90's and those guitars have now become collectibles. Shawn did everything on it and though they were not Jackson's or made in the US, they where better then most Jackson's at the time. Jackson still make some killer Soloists and I really like the wooden look they give some of them. I would love to own one some day, cause in shape I think the Jackson Soloist is one of the pretiest takes on how a guitar should look.

3. Music Man Luke III. All hail king Steve. This is the 3rd generation of the Luke and it's only fitting that an artist like Steve Lukather gets a guitar that literally can do everything it wants to. Like they have with the JP's, Music Man have again created a masterpiece. The Luke both looks and sounds fantastic. It's versatile and has those signature Music Man details that I myself have come to love. The Olive-green finish in the picture looks fantastic and the neck should be a dream to play. The former Luke's are awesome as well but I'm a Humbucker guy so naturally this is the one I like the better. the Preamp and coil stuff on it is just a bonus. Some day I will buy a Luke.

2. Suhr Koa Reb Beach.  I Love Reb beach but i love his Koa guitars more in a way. A Koa top can change everything. The sound is fantastic and fit really well to the activ EMG's Reb Beach uses but there is one thing Koa does that other wood really can't. It simple looks perfect on a guitar in my opinion. The Koa just looks right. I really like Mahogany and all but Koa has a natural glow and blend that really floats my boat. Then you ad on the sound it provides and ads to, lets say regular mahogany, and you have something going nobody can touch. John Suhr is a genius but the Ibanez Voyager Reb Beach had first is the one I would pick if I could. But they are impossible to get a hold off. So I'll have to do with the Suhr. That's fine by me.

1. Gibson Les Paul Custom Black Beaty. John Sykes was my first guitar hero. He was THE guy for my when One Night Only came out in 2000. He blew those Thin Lizzy songs up and what was he doing it on. A black Les Paul with silver linings. That guitar is the reason why I'm a Gibson guy at core. The Les Paul has been with Sykes through all the good and bad and it's one of the best sounding guitars ever. And still to this day, it looks unbelievable. John Sykes is unique. He's fucked up some stuff in his day but he also has a style nobody els has. He resurrected Thin Lizzy and gave it so much power that you would think it was a different band playing. That guitar did all that with him and if I could have one guitar to put up on my wall to look at for inspiration, it would be Black Beauty.It wouldn't hang there for long though cause just to hold that thing and give it a go is one of my biggest dreams regarding guitars.




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This Stuff Is Killing Me!

When The Dark Knight came out in the summer of 2008 there was a buzz about the whole thing.I remember having watched Batman Begins shortly before The Dark Knight came out and I felt that Christopher Nolan had nailed Gotham and the whole Batman Universe really well. Liam Neeson was a perfect cast as Ras Al Ghul and Christian Bale was king like always. The voice of Batman was a bit to rough and all but the setting and overall feel of the movie was great. But when I saw The Dark Knight and heard the talk afterwards I couldn't help but to feel like I knew better and that everybody was blind.

The thing that I couldn't stand hearing everybody praise , was a thing about the movies main villain. The villain was supposed to be the Joker and he was played by a very out of line Heath Ledger who finally seemed to step out of the nice guy shade.But the thing that puzzled me was: This motherfucker is not the Joker. This was some other crazy guy who had been beaten up by his dad and threw out a line like: "Why so serious?" but there is no way in hell that guy was the Joker. Heath Ledger to me was a fine actor. I didn't have anything on him. I didn't like Brokeback Mountain because I thought it was to gay and all but I think A Knight's Tale is a great movie. And Heath Ledger surely gave his all and showed a new side of his talent in The Dark  Knight but him portraying the Joker is one of the worst castings I have ever seen.

Heath Ledger played a madman with a very distinct way of handling himself. He runs around doing stuff that was really calculated and depending on a lot of things to fall in place prior to his actions. He burned a bunch of money, had a Jacket on that was wired to a bunch of grenades but mainly he had a master plan that needed Harvey Dent and Batman to do certain things. And that right there is the main problem Heath Ledger's Joker has, but I'll get to that. First off lets talk about some of the minor problems.

The Joker is not a result of some father beating his family up and cutting his sons cheeks to pieces and having no real identity. The Joker is riddled in mystery and doesn't tell anything about himself or his past. He is a result of a man falling into a pile of chemical waste after batman interacts with him. But nothing is really certain about him other then his hatred of Batman and him being a complete psychopath.

Another problem with ledgers Joker is his outfit. The Joker has green hair, red lips, white skin and wears a purple and orange suite constantly. It would have been difficult to fit into Nolan's batman but the joker look he picked was fucked. And worst of all, his face was painted! How the fuck does that happen. He runs around throwing cheesy lines at people and try to go one on one with The Batman and then he wears facial paint. That is wack as fuck and shouldn't be the way you show the main villain. That makes him way to human. The Joker has to be the odd man out for him to work properly. He has to be the only guy like him and not just another white guy who got porked by his dad.

On another note Harvey Dent's face gets hit by acid not burned. How can he live without one of his eyelashes? He ends up getting acid on his face by accident and batman is kinda to blame but he doesn't end up being some sour, burned out waste of time that shoots up the entire town. He is a sneaky guy who knows how to handle himself and be the head of an operation. Though he might have to personalities inside his head but he's no half brain. The Jokers interaction with Two-Face in the hospital is stupid and has nothing to do with how Harvey ends up raising hell and being one of batman's sworn enemies.

The biggest problem Ledger's Joker has is that the Joker is a psychopath. He thinks out a plan to get batman killed or rob a bank and that's it. He might hatch a plan that evolves on more then one level but he always has one main goal and then he just goes with it. It might be a clever plan and all but it's a short term plan. Nolan has the Joker develop a master plan that takes huge preparations. There's the cellphone bomb, The part where he puts the blame on Batman at the parade, The whole Harvey Dent thing, The gangster set up with the grenade jacket and so on. This is on a scale that Lex Luthor or Dr. Doom would find fitting but the Joker as insane. He lives in the moment and does so by blowing stuff up and cracking jokes. Harley Quinn follows him around and adores him, but she is just as crazy as he is so they're a cute couple. The Joker doesn't blast Batman's batmobile with rounds and rounds on an open street. He intoxicates the entire Police department with a gas that makes them all smile and laugh until they cramp, and he does this so that he can steal a van filled with gold and while he does it he has a big smiley faced bomb timed to blow up in 30 seconds and only Batman can stop it.

That's the Joker and that Joker is Mark Hamill. Hamill was the voice of The Joker in: Batman: The Animated Series which I was a huge fan off in the 90's. Kevin Conroy is always a kick ass batman and all but Hamill gave the Joker the life he had when he was in the comics. He talked and laughed like the Joker did when you where reading his lines in the comics. His voice complimented his insanity and nobodies ever come close to him. He was The Joker in the video game Batman: Arkham City and my god was he just as good as I remembered. His dialog with batman when he reveals his plan is magical and in the extras you can see Mark Hamill transform himself into the Joker when he does his lines. It is magical to watch. His lines have always been well written and his delivery is so spectacular and unique that he in some way has made sure nobody can really be The Joker other then him. That is why I think Nolan should have picked another villain for Ledger to mess around with. Maybe The Red Hood or Hush but the best thing would have been to make him The Riddler since he is a guy that really hatches big plans and all. But all that in mind the Payday style bank robbery was awesome, but under bozo's mask was hiding something that only a true fan could see and that thing wasn't The Joker. It was good but no Joker.

Get a life and start listening to better music!    

I Just Can't Leave It Alone.

This post is gonna be a bit different than the others. Because this time I'm gonna talk about one of my favorite sports: Cycling. The reason is that this years Giro d'Italia is coming to an end with the right winner but surrounded by riders, teams and episodes that are all impossible.


First off I can't explain why I like cycling so much. Cycling is something everybody can and do at some point in their lives. But there is something about seeing men race across mountains with up to a 25% climb and in sprints with 60 plus kilometers an hour that is so fascinating. As long as I can remember I have spent my entire July watching the Tour de France with my dad and one of the earliest memories I have of anything is watching Bjarne Riis win the 1996 Tour de France. I can remember how a danish singer/songwriter named Anne-Dorte Michelsen sang a song about him and Denmark was in a state of euphoria. And from that moment on I have been hooked on cycling. It's a sport I don't follow all year but during the grand Tours and some of the Classics it's more important than anything to me. There has been one rule I have followed almost my entire life as a cycling fan: What Bjarne does and says goes. Bjarne Riis is to me one of the greatest sports names to ever come from Denmark. he did something nobody had ever done before and he beat the machine; Miguel Indurain. He later admitted he had used doping and that leads us to the next part.


To me Doping in cycling is not important. I don't care if they us it or not. The reason why is that it takes so much talent and skill to ride that fast, Hard and skilled for so long that I just want to see some good action. But it should be equal to all. They should use the same drugs and at the same levels. So when Bjarne admitted he had used doping during the 90's I didn't give a fuck. he was still the best of the bunch that year, and that was a year where everybody was doped out of their minds.

I have always had favorites in the peloton. The first rider i really adored was the Australian sprinter Robbie McEwen. He was an artist on a bike and was a fierce rider who did't back down from anyone. He was very charismatic and won the green jersey in the Tour de France 3 times in the early 00's. Then came along the greatest bike rider of all time: Fabian Cancellara. When i spotted him on the Italian team Fassa Bortolo in 2004 I saw something special and the something turned out to be the most complete rider I have ever seen. He was the best Time Trialist ever. You can throw them all out and say Tony Martin a or David Miller, but when Fabian was best there wasn't anybody any better. His triumph at the world championships in 2009 was insane. He steamrolled everybody and when he destroyed all the other favorites in the 2010 Tour of Flanders and Paris-Roubaix was out of this world. Later on I have gotten a more broad view of the riders and have gotten a lot of love for the old man Alessandro Petacchi and his sprint train on Fassa Bortolo. I have never seen anything like it ever since. He was unbeatable in 2003 and 2004. But through the years the riders on Bjarne Riis' team has had a star in my book. But in 2011 when he signed Alberto Contador it was really special.

Contador is the biggest Grand Tour talent to ever walk this earth. He can do it all. has the power, the technique, can ride downhill, has some brutal accelerations up hill and has the toughest mental mind I have ever seen. He is the only man to beat Lance Armstrong at his own game. You could see it in him when he was a young guy riding for Liberty Seguros that he had something in him nobody els had.And then came the 2007 Tour de France. This is hands down the best cycling race ever. Fabian destroyed everybody in the streets of London and won another stage later on. McEwen won a stage and MIchael Rasmussen was leading the race and had a fierce fight with Contador in the mountains. It ended a catastrophic and all but the cycling was epic. Contador ended up winning the Tour and now has a total of 9 grand tours (though where remove duy to the UCI being as dumb as ever and having no concept of what clenbuterol does to the body). But if I have learned something from cycling it is that you can't dig yourself up from a pit, and you can't appear from thin air.

In 2008 Stefan Schumacher, normally a one-day-race rider with decent skill, started beating everybody in the time trails in the Tour de France. He had never done anything like that before and he rode like a mad man in breakaways. He rode for the Gerolsteiner team and his teammate Bernard Kohl was suddenly the king of the mountains. Nobody new the young Austrian before but suddenly he was the best climber of them all. The young Italianstar Riccardo Rico, who rode on Saunier Duval, had won a stage like he had done in the Giro, it was an uphill sprint finish, but some days later he took of and left everybody behind on a mountain stage. His teammate Leonardo Piepoli was winning stages like he did back in 2006 in the Giro d' Italia. He hadn't been this active in the Tour since 1996 and was suddenly back.in 2007 Alexander Vinokourov had crashed and lost time the intire race but killed all the competition in the first time trial. He then lost even more time and won yet another stage. All the riders mentioned above got busted in drug testes either during or after the Tour de France. And now all of this is happening again.

One of the riders I hate the most all time is Chris Froome. in 2011 saw hime jump out right at you with a second over-all finish and then suddenly he was better then everybody els at everything. He started out racing for Kenya, where he was born, and my god was he terrible. Froome has no tactical abilities, he has no technique at all, looks like an idiot when he's on a bike and is a prick through and through. He came from nowhere and is suddenly the "best" of the best. During last years Giro d'Italia Fabio Aru was the best rider only second to Nairo Quintana. Nobody new him but here he was, riding like Pantani all over again. Two years ago a wave of Columbians rolled through the cycling world. They had a form peak that stretched more then 2 months.Quintana rode like an idiot in the Vuelta 2011 and looked like he wasn't sure how a bike worked and 'puff' then he could beat Tony Martin in Time Trails. Carlos Betancur won almost every race he entered from February until June in 2013, when he was useless for his team Aqua & Sapone the year before. During this years Giro d'Italia Team Astana could have won the race with 7 different riders on the team. They were all better then anybody thought and rode everybody to bits until Mikel Landa, a guy I hadn't heard of until a week before the Giro was the best climber ever. I have never seen him race before the Giro but he was better then Contador and Aru combined in the mountains. And I could go on and on forever!

Cycling today is a sport that needs cleaning. Somebody's cheating so much it isn't funny anymore. Team Sky turns crabby riders and second grade talent into stars daily and team Astana could win every race of the year with their squad of nobodies. Talent or hard work makes a good rider. Not the blink of a eye or a change of team colors. UCI needs to stop fucking around and turn it around or els the sports is gonna ruin itself in guys like Aru and Froome, who cheat so obvious it just looks pathetic.




Get A Life And Start Listening To Better Music        

Sometimes I wonder, what is wrong with the world? Pt. 2.5: Carrie Mac.......... You will burn for this!

This is gonna be a short little post but filled with a lot of anger and hatred. I hate other people. I really do, because they do stuff I don't understand. The thing I don't understand is how they can be that stupid. I know what I am. I am an angry fat-ass with to much time on his hands but at least I'm not disrespectful and I know my way around people and have the greatest 'brothers' in the world. I don't hate people in general but if a person does one thing to piss me of as their first impression, then I don't give a fuck. Today a singer did just that and now I can't help but to think that I hope she gets her ass kicked.




In a commercial I saw today they played a slow song that I didn't pay attention to at the start but then I heard that word "Everywhere" and I snapped. I got online and found out that a Scottish singer-songwriter named Carrie Mac had done a cover of the Fleetwood Mac song Everywhere, which is one of my favorite songs by them, and I found it on Youtube. Then it felt like my head was about to pop. All it was, was a slowed down acoustic cover on a piano and Carrie Mac looking out a window. I scrolled down to see some of the comments and reed about how people loved it and how amazing she was for doing this and I walked outside and started chopping some wood to get the anger out, but I had to write about this shit and here we go.

How does a a singer loose that much respect for good artists? How can they not care? A cover of a song on an album or a ep is when you change something in the song so sounds different or has a different tempo, it can be a lot of things. But when you slow down a song and all you do is play piano along with your shitty singing, that is not a cover. That is rape! How dare you touch a song like that and then don't give a fuck. You get praised by stupid people who don't know shit about music and you feel real proud about yourself afterwards don't you? Well I curse you for your blasphemy. Everywhere is a gorgeous 80's pop song......... How can you sleep at night knowing that fucked it all up? You should be ashamed of yourself and I hope I never meet you, Carrie Mac, cause I will yell your ears of and make sure that you won't forget, that classics are classics because they are good in thier current form, not when a money grabbing whore puts her greasy fingers all over it.

Taylor swift once did this to The boys of Summer by Don Henley and some other girl did it with Every Breath You Take by The Police and People kiss up to them and tell them what a great job they've done, but I do hope that Justice will come to those who deserves it. Have some respect for fucks sake. Money isn't everything! I would rather go bankrupt then play a song I didn't approve of. Music is art, and would you try to paint over the Mona Lisa because you think you can do better? Didn't think so!



Get a life and start listening to better music!