I have been a Star Wars fan for as long as i can remember. I remember going to the movies with my dad, uncle and two cousins to see Star Wars Episode I - The Phantom Menace and I loved it. I am one of the few who prefer the prequels instead of the sequels but I like episode 4, 5 and 6 as well. I played the video games and had lightsaber duels with my friends and all but I didn't read any of the books or anything like that. I just liked the movies, the Jedi's and the entire universe as a whole. Then Disney walked into the room and announced the seventh movie and I looked forward to it in many ways and knew in a way that at least it would probably by a very good looking movie. But even some of the most impressive CGI effects I have ever seen couldn't save Star Wars VII from being one of the worst experiences I have had with a movie.
I didn't really hate on the sale of the Star Wars franchise to Disney because George Lucas isn't a perfect director by any means. What they did to Indiana Jones was a rape beyond belief. So I thought that now we would get some new movies and all, so it was okay. But the way the Star Wars universe was turned into this soft and pretty family movie that was so linear You had figured out the plot after watching six seconds of the first trailer. We will get to the butchering of the lore later but first of one of the biggest problems I have with this movies is that it's basically a reboot of Star Wars - A New Hope.
Every major piece of this plot is taking right out of the first Star Wars movie. You have a droid that holds a very important secrete. A Major elderly character dies by the hands of a former friend/ally/son, there is a big rescue mission, An evil empire like enemy has a huge weapon that the good guys has to destroy in a fashion that involves a full scale assault and a slow ass and intense fly-by bombing, The meet-up with Han and Chewbacca takes place under fire and is followed by an escape and it just goes on and on and on. This is so linear and boring. Why didn't you just make a real reboot of A New Hope with the same actors, some script and all, but with modern film technology. You go out a brag about this being the new chapter and talk about how the force awakens and you show of the First Order as the new empire but it doesn't fucking work when you're watching a 3 hour long cliche with things you've already seen before 100 times on dvd. It was an amazing movie visually and the Starkiller Base looks amazing but if I wanted a movie that looked good but had a plot that didn't make sense and bad acting I would watch Pacific Rim. It's that simple. This is a Star Wars movie! This is not Predator or a Starcraft the movie. This has to make sense in at least the way the prequels did. And when you boast yourself with having created something new and you're kinda starting over on the biggest franchise of all time it has to work.
And one of the biggest ways The Force Awakens fails is in the plot. The overall whole makes sense in the kid friendly and Hollywood way where we like each other and the bad guys took a beating. But there are so many stupid details that screw up everything. The first one is: How the fuck does Luke's old sword get in the hands of the innkeeper? If it was that fucking easy to get a hold off don't you think Luke would have gotten it from that Bespin tunnel system at some point instead of building a new one? We all saw Luke fall through the shafts and hang on to that antenna thing after Darth Vader cut of his hand and dropped the daddy bomb on him, so why hasn't the lightsaber gone the same way? Bespin is a gas planet that almost has no substance. How the hell do you find a lightsaber in the atmosphere of a gas planet when you don't know where to look? There are so many questions about this retarded detail. You could just have taken Obi Wan's saber from the fourth movie because it is onboard the death Star after he's killed by Vader. Maybe a Stormtrooper could've taken it or Vader could've hidden it and a scavenger found it after an Imperial Destroyer crashed or hell anything. It could also have been Luke's new saber which he could've given to the innkeeper. the fact that it's Luke and Anakin's old lightsaber ruins it all. Even the Traitor guy can't save the part at the inn cause it makes no fucking sense.
Captain Phasma is the biggest waste of time I have ever seen. Uuhhh look she's played by the big bitch from Game of Thrones and what does she do? Nothing. But that's not even the biggest problem I have with that character. Because why would a company or army as large as The First Order even consider recruiting women? Nothing against women at all, they can be just as powerful and tactically sound as men but recruiting women mean that you need two types of every part of gear you have. The female body is different then the male body so they can't wear the same armor. Then add the fact that the average woman is shorter then the average man so you would recruit more men then women because your army has to have some standards concerning the physic of your soldiers. So you have to get two types of armor so that the few females you have in your army has an armor that fits. That is an logistic nightmare. Either it's male or female soldiers you have both makes no sense. And why wouldn't you just cut every single case of difference by using clones. The movie mentions clone troops so why on earth would you risk having a guy like Finn in your army? Don't take that chance how millions of the same guy follow your orders. Just a brain dead plot hole that makes The First Order look like a bunch of retards!
But by far the biggest issue I have with the Force Awakens is how it takes a shit on the entire lore concerning the force. Mastering the force takes talent and years of effort, practice and focus. You go from being a padawan, to a knight and finally a jedimaster. You have to be patient, have knowledge, wisdom and earn the respect of the master and tradition. You're told that not every jedi or force sensitive are equally powerful. Not everybody can be the choose one or Yoda but you can still improve you still have to work hard to enhance your skills. The Force Awakens takes a big shit on all that. Rey can be as hot as she wants but you're telling me this dessert chick is gonna out force Kylo Ren, a skilled force user that's been training for years? You're telling me she has mastered the force hours after learning she was a force sensitive? And that she is better with a lightsaber then Kylo Ren as well? Bull to the fucking shit! You can't do that! Even Anakin Skywalker had to train his ass of to become the chosen one. Yeah he was good at fixing stuff and flying but you can't just use the force whenever just because you think you know what it is. If that logic is the going standard why the fuck would you even bother finding Luke. Just go with it. You already beat the bad guy once. You're on a roll, stick with it. No, you know what? There is no need for the jedi. There's no need for a jeditemple you can simple just do it out of know where so why give a damn. The Force Awakens ruins everything the was pure and great about the jedi. They had to work for it, be patient and good to achieve their power. It's all pointless now cause some bitch can master the force inside hours!
A movie can be as beautiful and stunning looking as it wants but when you're dealing with franchise that is as widespread and big as Star Wars is then you can't just take a shit on everybody. Now, the new fans of the franchise, the kids who saw their first Star Wars movie last December thinks that this is how it works and that is wrong. They'll get butchered for their thoughts on the force and the jedi all because this movie tries to rewrite the entire lore. And in doing so have created so many enemies that the real fan can't help but to cry and be angry that it went down this way.
Get a life and start listening to better music
Rarely, a band or an artist strikes gold on their first effort. A genre or the use of an instrument can be completely redefined by the release of one album. Though it rarely happens and it hasn't really happened since the year 2000 a debut album can be special and set an artist up for life and solidify their legacy before it has really begun. These 3 albums have done just that. They have created something new and unique for its time and mean a great deal to me. These are my top 3 debut albums of all time.
3. Van Halen - Van Halen, 1978
This albums is hard enough to avoid on your regular top 10 albums list, because it launched a new genre. Van Halen lifted the guitar up to new heights and cleared a path for all the glam and heavy 80's rock that sprung up during the 1980's. Eddie Van Halen spawned a generation of guitar players who were adventures and experimenting. Though it wasn't unique in every way. Van Halen started the Heavy Rock movement that lasted up until the early 90's and are still to this day touring the world with their many hits. David Lee Roth was sort of a mix of David Coverdale and Steven Tyler. A good looking guy with a lot of energy, way to loose hips and a good voice. He took it up a notch and his act on stage was one of the first really flamboyant lead singers, but he still didn't take to much focus of the music like Cloverdale and Tyler still do to this day. The album is quit varied in a way, cause some of the songs are different, though they share the same backbone. Running With The Devil is much harder and more thumping then Dance the night away, And Eruption is of course Eruption. This album also meant that guitar driven music could be bought by everybody. It became more mainstream and broad. This album has that in common with the next album on this list.
2. Toto - Toto, 1978
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Thank god for Steve Lukather. He is one of a few beacons in the pitch black darkness known as modern popular music! The first time he appeared for real was on Toto's self titled debut album in 1978. This album was the launch pad for a future pop/rock giant that would set the pace and standard for the next 25 years or so. Tot shows what the band was and still is capable of right from the first album. You got the swinging and groovy pop songs, the classic stadium rock song and regular pop/rock songs with that jazzy feel to em. The highlights on the album start of with I'll Supply the Love where Steve Lukather starts things of with a funk style riff a bit like Long Train' Runnin' with the Doobie Brothers. When you hear those chords you someway know the song even though it's the first time you hear it. The chorus is easy to learn and before you know it your yelling on the top of your longs along with Bobby Kimball. The fact that Toto was a group of session musicians who formed a band together is essential because the band is so tight and knows what they have to do when recording. That awareness and attention to detail was gonna prove to be a way to stardom come 1982 but that's another story. Georgy Porgy is a slow and groovy song whit a bit of funk pop to it. It's rather straight forward and has that great groove that makes you wanna boogie to it. It's almost like it's an Earth Wind and Fire song but with Steve Lukather on vocals. The Anthem of the album is of course the classic rock monster Hold the Line. Apart from being one of the best and most recognizable riffs of all time it holds all the Toto traits: Great choir, fine lyrics, The band working as a well oiled machine and a killer solo. The fact that the song starts of with piano makes it just that bit different and more interesting in the beginning. But that riff, oohhh my. How do you write something like dad and that solo when you're 21 years old? I don't get it. Steve Lukather does though and thank god for that. The Chorus is again one you can just yell out loud and it doesn't matter if you don't really know the lyrics. The solo is what will turn out to be vintage Lukather and it just completes what is an amazing song and a great album.
1. Christopher Cross - Christopher Cross, 1979
Christopher Cross is a relatively new thing for me. I knew Ride Like the Wind because it's in Anchorman 2 but one day I was watching a family Guy episode and this soft, gentle and beautiful song was played during a montage and a new world opened up in front of me. This album was one of the first to be recorded entirely digital and had what I would call an all-star personnel. Christopher Cross was totally unknown before this album but Michael McDonald toke him in and the result is unique. Christopher Cross created a soft-rock sound unlike any other at the time and the production is so clean and fluid it's unbelievable. You got Eric Johnson and Steve Lukather on guitar, Tommy Taylor on drums, Michael McDonald on backing vocals, Lenny Castro on percussion and so on and the result is out of this world. Ride Like the Wind is the odd song out because it's classic Rock and Roll and it's such a cool song with McDonald on backing vocals and the run away feel you get from the lyrics and overall sound. But the gem of the album is of course Sailing. Sailing might be the best production I've ever heard of a song. You float in on a pillow of strings and carried further on by an Eric Johnson style chorus smothered guitar and Castro's chimes. Christopher Cross' vocals are velvet smooth. The way the chorus peeks just a bit and the comes back down is spectacular. The lyrics just add to the sensation you get of almost flying or drifting away. The part after the second chorus where everything gets a little bit more fusion based is vintage Eric Johnson chording and it fits the song to a key. Though Cristhopher Cross didn't do a whole lot more after this album I take the liberty of including Arthur's Theme into this album because it's a single release in between albums. Arthur's Theme is the soundtrack to the movie Arthur and it's such a great pop song with an amazing sing along chorus and feel good vibe to it. So soft and yet still with a bit of edge in the power Christopher Cross sings it in. You of course get a saxophon solo to top it off but it's the chorus that makes me want to comeback time and time again. From 1979 to 1981 Christopher Cross was the best singer-songwriter on the planet and his first album is a soft-rock masterpiece. And if you pull Arthur's Theme into the account it is just spectacular.
Get a Life and Start Listening to Better Music!
Last Christmas I got a big box filled with books. It was a box set of 12 bestsellers and an extra book with short-stories. I had never before wanted books for Christmas but after I had borrowed one from a friend I took a chance and I have fallen completely in love with a universe, I was into when I was 13 years old. The Warhammer 40.000 universe. More precisely the Horus Heresy. In this post I will write about why I have fallen in love with the story and characters and also why I sometimes hate it.
I have a huge problem with the entire Heresy episode. And that is; I'm rooting for the wrong team. I know Horus is gonna die and everything is gonna blow up in his face and the Traitor legions will flee to the Eye of Terror but I have never felt so captivated by any type of writing like I did when I read the first 3 chapters og Horus Rising. The author Dan Abnett is a genius at what he does. You get no introduction at all and is thrown right into a war, that you se from the eyes of Garviel Loken, Captain of the 10th company in the Luna Wolves Legion, and right from the moment I finished the first page I knew I was gonna be a traitor legion guy. Horus is the first of the 20 Primarchs and by far the most bad ass of them all. Each primarch seems to have one specialty like Regal Dorn of the Imperial Fists is a master in fortification, Angron of the World Eaters is a butcher, Ferrus Manus of the Iron Hands is a master craftsman and so on, but to me Horus can do everything he wants to. The emperor has elected him to be the Warmaster while he goes back to Terra (Earth), because of that reason. Loken and his company spring a trap in the throne room on the fake Terra planet they are invading and while he hangs on for dear life a teleportationbeam appears and a demigod walks out of it and takes out the shock wave like bomb that was placed in the throne room. I remember that I had to put the book down and think; "what the hell had just happened?". Right at that moment, Horus had me. I dived into the Luna Wolves and got blown away by their brilliance.
Through out the various books you follow different legions and characters in different parts of the galaxy and not all of them are equally good, but you still feel like it's all a part of the bigger picture and all. There is one thing though, through every book you see what chaos does and how it works and I fucking love it! You are slowly introduced to the warp and the chaos inside it and some of the chaos gods show themselves at various points. Primarch Fulgrim and his legion is deeply affected by the chaos god known as Slaaneesh. Slaaneesh is the god of pleasure and emotion and the transformation Fulgrim and The Emperor's children undergo is gripping and intens. They go from being a perfectionistic and arrogant Legion to a completely insane mass of kill seeking lunatics. The struggle Fulgrim undergoes himself is a long battle that sees him vanish into the darkest corner of his own mind and then a Demon of Slaaneesh takes control of his body. Fulgrim beheads his brother-Primarch Ferrus Manus while The traitor legions fight the Salamanders, Raven Guard and the Iron Hands on Istvan 5. The battle known as the Drop Site Massacre shows exactly why chaos is so fascinating. Legions that were once loyal to the emperor are turned into killing machines who fight former allies and brothers while guided by powers so imens even the Eldar don't dare touch it.
I'm a traitor guy all the way and therefor are my favorite legions part of the heresy. A lot of people don't like the Death Guard or don't really have an opinion on them but I think that the fact they are plain and simple is a plus. They don't ware ornaments or have any paint on their armors and ships. Mortarion is not a flashy guy he is a machine. The Death Guard legion keep on going and are well known for being methodical and really good at terring and breaking down the enemy whit now rest or pause in their war making. The Luna Wolves or Sons of Horus as they're called now are sort of a mix between some of the other legions. They reflect their Primarch Horus and his ability to be good at everything. But the Sons of Horus are known for being the best at infiltrating fortresses. The Imperial Fists build the fortres and the Sons of Horus take it down. Some of the characters you get to know in the first couple of books are awesome characters. Loken is so likable that, even though I knew he would never be a traitor along with his friend Tarik Torgaddon, I still cheer for him to kick Abaddon's ass on Istvan 3. The Word Bearers are Lorgar's legion. i hated them at first because of Chaplain Erebus. Erebus is on a mission to turn Horus into the arms of chaos but he is so easy to see through and foolish in some of his planning that you can't help but think; "Why did no one but Loken and some remembrancers figure it out?" he is so obvious and I still hate him but after reading Scions of the Storm in Tales of Heresy I love them. The emperor thought Lorgar a fool and he didn't like it. The son who always loved his father more then anything in the world was told to stop it and he did. He did it so much that the fate of humanity was painted in blood. Another legion I really like is the Alpha Legion. They do nothing by the book and a wrapped in mystery and shadows. I love sneaky warfare and the fact that they know so much more then every other legion when it comes to the warp and mysterious powers. Nobody knows for certain what they're doing at any point. They've gone rogue from the get go, and always get the job done. Are there two Primarchs in the Alpha legion? Alpharius and Omegon or just one? I love the intriges and confusion they leave behind as well as their armor and their symbol the hydra.
The of course there are some legions a really hate. First of are the Ultramarines. For some reason are the Ultramarines better then everybody els. They are above all the other Astartes because they're Ultramarines. They seem to have no respect for the other Primarchs. Only their own, Roboute Guilliman, is worth a damn and to me that's bullshit. Some of the Primarchs hate each other but to think of only your own Primarch as worthy of the emperor's embrace is blasphemy. But if there's one legion that really pisses me of then it's the Space Wolves. How can rules be different when it comes to one legion. Why can they seemingly do what ever they want and get away with it? Leman Russ, The Primarch of the Space Wolves, is the Emperor's lapdog. The Space Wolves are supposed to be his assassin's or special forces of some kind, and Leman Russ is, as an example, to escort Magnus the Red back to the Emperor for violating the rules of warp magic. Rules that don't exist when it comes to the Space Wolves. They have visions and druids who perform rituals on their home world of Fenrir and that is allowed by the emperor. Lorgar musn't worship the emperor as a god and Magnus is not allowed the explorer the warp. But on Fenrir you can do whatever you want as long as you're a Space Wolf. What The Fuck? And of course Space Wolves and Ultramarines are better in combat then all the other astartes.
This leads me to a point that leaves me frustrated. How can one astartes be better then the other? In The Battle for the Abyss a couple of Ultramarines, one Space Wolfe and one World Eater take on an entire ship filled with Word Bearers and Thousands of human soldiers. The World Eathers, though you've been told they are experts in close- quarter and boarding combat, are useless. The World Eater has been on board the and trapped in the ship for weeks and they can't find him. So there's no tracking on board the Furious Abyss or any cameras or sensors? And the World Eather knows your ship better then you do? BS. at some point the 3 loyal astartes are cornered by some 15 World Eaters, but they fly right through them. Every time the traitor legions or allies fail they fail in some stupid and impossible fashion. On Mars when everything goes bananas Titan machines loyal to the fabricator general are just standing there, watching while their comrades are blown to bits. I know I'm cheering for the losing team, but still. Let the loyalists win an even fight by a small margin or by a close call. The entire civil war is won on a close call. Let the entire wall be one enormous rope pulling where nobodies giving an inch and the winner is found by a nose.
But even though this really bothers me it won't change the fact that I love this universe and the stories about it. Everything is so bloody and action packed and the warp and what's in it, really has me in a grip. Horus is my Warmaster and therefor the true leader of mankind and though I know he comes up short at the end somewhere deep down I still hope it turns out different for him when I read it myself. Lupercal!
Get a life and starte listening to better music!
